Wednesday, July 1, 2009
Blog 5 - The effect of divorce on a child
I think for my position paper I am going to write about the effect that divorce has on children. Of course every child of divorced parents will have a different experience, but generally I feel that if the parents in a family are no longer getting along it is better off for the children that the parents divorce. My parents divorced when I was very little, and I always felt that I had a safe haven at one parent's house when the other parent was having a difficult time. At the same time I have seen what the lack of divorce between my mom and stepdad has done to their son (my half brother), and I truly feel that I have the better end of the deal. I plan on looking for some statistics on intelligence and general success/happiness of the children of divorced parents in comparison to the children of still-wed but unhappy parents. I'm interested in hearing your guys' experiences as well! How has divorce affected your life?
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I know exactly what you mean about how divorce effects children. My wife is a child of a divorce and she still has father issues because her mom always talked bad about her father and made it hard for the father to see her and her sister, so he gave up and went on with her life. My wife has a fear of abandonment and had a rough time after growing up because of having that part of a father missing from her past.
ReplyDeleteLeshan makes a good point. Your paper might be a tricky topic to document, unless you can find reliable studies and statistics. Every divorce story is quite different.
ReplyDeleteMy ex-husband's parents divorced when he was 16 and his brother 11, and quite frankly to this day (he is 32) it's still an all-out war. He and his brother have suffered from it tremendously. In their opinion, the only people who were better off after the divorce were the neighbors. The children were still miserable, and the parents were still fighting.
On the other end of the spectrum, I consider my divorce a success. I chose to end my marriage because I didn't want my children to think relationships should be that way. It was getting worse by the day and clearly it wasn't going to get better. My children were 4 and 2, and still young enough to forget about all the arguing and displays of pettiness and immaturity. I am glad in retrospect. Not having to live with each other anymore, my ex and I have managed to become good friends again. Since we had no assets, money didn't tear us apart during the divorce proceedings. We live 10 minutes from each other and share custody 50/50. We do birthdays and holidays all together, my ex has a lovely fiance who is great with our children. Our boys are well-adjusted, loving, and always say how we are all one big happy family.